Tuesday, February 9, 2016

au revoir



 

okay, for whatever reason, this article just brought me so much peace. I have felt a weight lift over the last few days.

 

I can study passion and bring more passion into my life without feeling like I have FAILED myself just because I am not passionate with my career right now.

It’s okay to feel a little lost but I definitely need to cut myself a lot more slack!

 

I am a type-A personality. That means I am high strung. That means I have to-do lists. That means I am a perfectionist. That means when I set my focus on something, it DOES come to fruition.

 

I guess it’s because of this that it is nearly impossible for me to not get wrapped up in personal expectations. I focus so much on the details and the to-do lists that I forget to smile. I forget to laugh. It makes me sad to admit this but it is so true. When I get home from work and my boyfriend tries to hug me? All I can do is shrug him off and demand to know when he is going to wash dishes. Really? Dishes?

 

What does this have to do with passion, Kaitlyn? Well, for me, everything. Because I allow the mundane to get in the way of my smile. And therefore, my passions.

 

As William Bridges reminds us in his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes, transitions start with an ending. Just like a breakup with someone you hoped was “The One,” in major life transitions, you’re breaking up with an important season of your life. You’re cutting the anchor that held you in that port, and as it splashes in the water it’s bound to produce some waves.

 

I moved out of my mom’s house for the first time (and bought a house) and I have lost nearly 60 pounds. I am not only leaving that place, those familiarities, routines and memories, I am also leaving who I was in that place. Yeah, I feel a little lost. But who wouldn’t after making huge life changes? Maybe this feeling is (dramatic) me waving goodbye to that person.

 

It tends to be when you are stuck smack dab in this void of “what now?” where you make the most progress. Maybe my "quarter-life crisis" is not just a stage to pass over and get through, it’s a transition process. Letting the overwhelming questions of “I have no idea where I’m going” guide me to where I want to be!

1 comment:

  1. I had a HUGE quarter life crisis when I was living with a roommate in Queens in a shitty basement apartment with bug/rodent/flooding issues. It was like living through various plagues down there. Moving to a better place (still in Queens with the same roommate) helped for a while but a lot of those same sentiments set in again. Now I moved back home to CT where I feel more at home and more comfortable... and quite a few years later... I feel more peaceful (overall) with the trajectory of my life. It doesn't all have to be figured out right now. I'm looking to buy a home so that's exciting and frightening at the same time but I look forward to the new adventures that will bring! :) xoxo - Krystal

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