Day 27 Venting

My FGG bootcamp journal says to vent and it just so happens I have some venting to do and no one to listen or hear it. So I, again, turn to you guys. 

More and more lately, acquaintances are making comments about my weight. The most common being that I better be careful or I might just disappear. 

And then my mother has relentlessly started in on me, comments about how I am too skinny, about how I need to be careful. Then when I can't help but feel defensive, she says that I'm angry all the time because I'm too skinny. That I'm obsessed. That I might be developing obsessive compulsive disorder. 

This coming from my mom has really caused resentment and made me start to feel bad about my hard work. She has been overweight and obese my entire life. She's never had a healthy relationship with food as she struggles with depression and uses food to placate her emotionally. 

I've finally managed to wiggle free of that upbringing, I want to be healthy and fit. I understand strangers have no idea of the amount of time and effort I put in every single day to guaranteeing that I get the nutrition I need as well as the minutes that tick by that I work to make my muscles and heart strong. But my mom? She does know. She understands how important it is to me. So for her to say those hurtful comments (that she doesn't even see as hurtful) really has gotten to me today. I look in the mirror and am so proud but I also have a long road ahead to where I want to be. If I already am lacking support at this point in my journey, where will I turn weeks from now? 

Everyone who has a support system raves about how important and great it is, and I'm glad for them. I really am. But the ones of us that don't have support, what do we do? Where do we go when we need a hug or a pat on the back or a listening ear?

I can do nothing but turn here. I am SO thankful I have all of you wonderful women to uplift me and inspire me. Some that I truly feel have become friends, not just fit sisters. 

I'm done venting now, but I needed someone to spill that and get it off of me and away from me. 

Now, I will brush my shoulders off and dig even deeper. Because this is truly for no one but ME. I will not let anyone else's insecurities deter MY journey. I have come so very far and I refuse to do nothing but carry on. 1/3 of the way through bootcamp and I feel amazing. I can't wait to see myself at the end. 

Xoxoxoxoxo 

Another Chapter Finished

My very LAST perseverance post – time seriously flies. I literally picked the perfect word for my first month of Fit Girl’s Guide Bootcamp. I don’t doubt that I would have slacked off by now if not for all the new tips and tools I learned along the way. I now know I am 100% capable of digging deep even when things get stressful or emotional.

I don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward. I just have to commit to the moving forward. I have to remember my grit, my tenacity and my ability to shine my light even in the dark. (miss you, Dumbledore)

 

I will continue to dwell on and remember these lessons because I will need to persevere for all of the things I want to achieve, even some of the words I have chosen for the rest of the year.

 

For February, I have decided to go with PASSION. Mostly for obvious reasons (V-DAY) and because I think it will be important for me to tackle early on in the year. I’m a little (honestly, A LOT) afraid for this word as I know it is going to be uncomfortable and open up a lot of doors that I slammed on purpose. I am going to try to wiggle my way out and around it, but February will be a month for really digging my toes in the sand and standing up tall. I hope you will be reading along or joining me on my journey!

 

I leave perseverance in the best way I know how, with some awesome quotes.

 

“If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. “Here comes number seventy-one!” ~ Richard M. Devos

 

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

― Maya Angelou

Winding Down

Just a couple days left for me to reflect on perseverance and what I have learned this month!

We have probably all been there. We have set our minds to get healthy, and we start slacking off. Our motivation ebbs, we lack perseverance.

 

People ask me how I stay so motivated and honestly, I think it’s understanding that motivation doesn’t equal peppy. You don’t always have to be super jazzed about your work out, you just have to do it. You just have to show up. You have to try. That’s how I stay motivated. I go in knowing deep down I will feel better afterwards, and that I just have to show up. Once I am there and going through the motions, I start to put more into the workout and I end up doing a lot more than just ‘showing up’. Try it. See if it works for you.

 

Other tips? It’s fine to take your foot off the gas, just don’t put it on the brake. Take some time to yourself, spread out your workouts. Have a few more snacks. It’s more than okay – just know that you will go full speed ahead once you feel ready again.

Mix it up, don’t let yourself feel bored by fitness! There are ENDLESS options… some new favorites for me have been the Nike Training Club app (so many different workouts!) and doing yoga from YouTube videos! Periscope is also a fun platform for new classes in the comfort of your home. HAVE FUN. Your motivation will grow.

Write things down. Make sure your goals are specific and easily accessible. Set your intentions every week, write and/or speak them! If you are a creative person, make a vision board and put it up in your workout space. Do whatever works for you so that your goals are displayed.

Don't Quit Success

I stumbled upon this little poem, not sure who the author is but I love it for this month's theme

"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

 When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

 When the funds are low and the debts are high,

 And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

 When care is pressing you down a bit,

 Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

 

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

 As every one of us sometimes learns,

 And many a failure turns about,

 When he might have won had he stuck it out;

 Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—

You may succeed with another blow.

 

Often the goal is nearer than,

 It seems to a faint and faltering man,

 Often the struggler has given up,

 When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

 And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

 How close he was to the golden crown.

 

Success is failure turned inside out—

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

 And you never can tell how close you are,

 It may be near when it seems so far,

 So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit."

 

Practice Makes Perfect

When is it the hardest to persevere? Right when you're in the middle of something triggering you to want to quit, of course.


I am a hypochondriac, it ties in with my anxiety. Here is a story of how and when I realized the true scope of my hypochondria:
I was sitting in one of my science classes in University when I noticed my hands were looking blue. I ignored it and tried to focus on the lecture, but as time went on I kept noticing they were looking bluer and bluer. I started to feel the rising panic, my chest started to tighten. I tried rubbing my hands on my jeans to get circulation; my hands got bluer. I went to the bathroom to try to gather myself and make a phone call, because at this point, I was having a panic attack. I called my boyfriend at the time, frantic and crying, begging him to please do something to help me. I washed my hands, the blueness faded. I thought, what in the world? Is there something on my hands?? I tried to take deep breaths and think, and then it dawned on me, I was wearing brand new dark wash jeans. The dye from the jeans had been rubbing off on my hands. I was not losing CIRCULATION, and I just had a panic attack over nothing.
Funny, right? But I cannot distance myself from thinking the worst when it comes to my health and it often ends in panic attacks and tears. Earlier this week, my period came early. Early as in, I still had one pill left in my pack before the week of sugar pills. I felt my palms get sweaty, my mind started racing. I convinced myself that I MUST be pregnant, because I had taken antibiotic earlier in the month, and that must be what the bleeding was. I frantically googled, begged my boyfriend to do something, and eventually resigned to laying in bed crying. My cramps were worse than normal, the bloating seemed worse. Everything suddenly sharpened into focus and I couldn't believe this was happening, what could be wrong? For years my period has run like clockwork, never early, never late. But as I thought about it, when I was super in shape and eating healthy before, my period was a little wonkier. So, maybe this is my normal.


The point of me telling you those stories is that I can either let my hypochondria completely debilitate me, or I can shove the anxiety to the side and PERSEVERE. I had to do that this week, I wanted to lay there in my anxiety and not move until the thing scaring me went away, but I didn't. I kept going through the motions and the anxiety loosened because of it.


The circumstances that will arise when you need perseverance the most will never be easy, but just dig deeper than your fear, anxiety, sadness, whatever your emotional trigger may be and focus on the task at hand. You will feel better once you power through.


XOX

Just keep swimming

I have a tendency to get frustrated when I don’t get something right the first time. Not unusual. However, I let that frustration escalate to resignation more often than not. This is not just in fitness but in life in general. . When it comes to my fitness journey, it was especially true.

 

I am doing the 12 week Fit Girl’s Bootcamp and in the midst of Week 3. I didn’t want to start, I didn’t think I was ready. The only reason I DID start was because of other amazing women encouraging me and letting me know it would be ok even if I wasn’t “ready”. Turns out, I was totally ready. Yes, I get frustrated sometimes, but I am learning to banish those thoughts. WHO CARES if I am not Olympic level with my glider tucks? I have learned to have fun and therefore learned to persevere in the meantime. Just because I don’t like something initially, just because I don’t feel like I am ‘good enough’ at it… I am so glad I was started to keep going.  I have been able to literally feel my body get stronger each week. I am trying to pay close enough to how hard things feel and that has helped me, in turn, notice how much easier they have become. It’s actually really fun and it’s the part that makes the perseverance worth it.

 

We can’t learn perseverance without experiencing some degree of difficulty. It’s not a “fun” skill to try to learn. I am confident that if I wouldn’t have started to speak gently to myself, love myself and show self-compassion then I wouldn’t have started the boot camp, much less been learning so much about my capacity to persevere.

 

I encourage you to identify what triggers you to want to give up. Is it frustration over not getting things ‘right’ or fear of being ridiculed as a beginner? Or is does it stem from an entirely different set of circumstances?

Delayed Gratification

“I do think that we have somehow, in our pursuit of comfort and happiness, shifted a lot of value to fun, fast and easy. But it’s counterfeit value. The amount of energy it takes to live a life where you never fall down is so much. We’re enamored of grit, tenacity, courage, and perseverance, I think because they’re so rare. They’re truth.” -Brene Brown

 

Delayed gratification seems to be a big part of persevering. That is, just because it’s easy and available right here right now, doesn’t mean it’s in line with your goals. You want to be healthy so you start trying out diet pills because you heard they will make you thin faster! But, there are chemicals and side effects that do more harm than help. You want to be financially stable but you really NEED that bouquet from EcoFlower (cough cough, me)

As a product of my generation, I do struggle with delayed versus instant gratification. I also lack patience in general so that combined is tough. For me, I guess, it’s about balancing. Yes, you should go on vacation even though you want to save money. What’s the point of working hard if you don’t get to do something relaxing for ONE week out of the year? What’s the point of working hard for your goal body if you never taste the fancy cheesecake or eat the fried macaroni? The problem a lot of people run in to is when the going gets tough we instantly seize up and seek for comfort through those tough times. We think, I need to feel better NOW. We forget to delay gratification, we forget that we are tenacious, courageous and able to persevere. But, it’s necessary. When bad things happen that throw us into emotional vulnerability, we need to program ourselves to just keep going forward. Feel those feelings. Express them. Love yourself through it, do not shove them aside for instant comfort (food, laziness, alcohol, whatever)

It’s easy, but you will be denying your authentic self the truth that it deserves.

Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

I wanted to review The Gifts of Imperfection for my #fitgirlbookclub ladies but there's a lot that I want to share, so I thought doing a post on my blog might be the best place. 

This past year, for me, has been about getting to know myself. That's been the biggest component in fueling my journey through health and fitness. To quote Brené, "how much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a Wholehearted life: loving ourselves. Knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are."

So here you are, working so hard to become a "better person" - but are you loving yourself right here and right now? Are you speaking softly to yourself on those hard days? 

In her preface towards the end it says, "it's life work. It's soul work." That is how I've come to label my health and fitness journey. This is work I will be doing for life. And I'm doing it for my soul, not really for my body. Yes, it's super fun to watch my body get stronger and transform and do all these awesome things that I couldn't do a few weeks ago. But, the biggest reward is the feeling in my soul. Joy. 

If you feel that you'll only be worthy when you lose the weight, get pregnant, get sober, hold your marriage together... Etc. then this is a book for you. You are worthy NOW. When you start walking down the road towards self-love, it will feel scary. Sometimes it's hard for me to be vulnerable on Instagram but it's even harder with people I know personally, I still have to work to banish my fear and love myself enough not to bury my light. 

She talks about perfectionism. I am so guilty of this mindset and I didn't realize it was getting in the way of my joy until this book. I thought it was great to strive for perfection and plan, plan, plan and work, work, work. No, Brené's research points directly to the need for PLAY. The need for creativity. The need to do things that have zero productive qualities besides that we enjoy it. I need to start using self-compassion and face my feelings rather than focusing on planning the future as a distraction. "When we numb the dark, we numb the light." I want to be brave enough to stay mindful of the techniques I use to avoid vulnerability (planning, perfectionism, etc) and be able to lean into those feelings because then I will be leaning into the good feelings, too. 

As I said, creativity and play are important to the human spirit. I used to take painting classes and while I was no Picasso, I really enjoyed it! I love to dance and I love interior design. These are my creative outlets. I am going to carve out time every week to color in my coloring book, or go buy art supplies, or do a home project or start banishing my fear of being VULNERABLE and NEW at something and start finding classes. I love learning new things but I'm always too scared to be new. I know how free I feel when I'm letting creativity flow, so that's my big takeaway. MAKE TIME EVERY WEEK FOR CREATIVE FREEDOM. 

I have to continue my yoga practice every single day. Yoga isn't necessary to calm the mind, but for me it works. I am very anxiety prone, I start to tense and freak out over the smallest details out of place. For my mental well being and the well being of those around me, I'm going to continue working towards becoming a calm force rather than a reckless one. 

The other big takeaway this book showed me (which I have known and been desperately trying to avoid) is that I absolutely have to find meaningful work. It's my personal opinion that the job that brings home money does not have to fulfill you. But I do believe it's critically important to a happy life that you find something that brings joy and meaning to you through work. I'm okay with 8-5 Monday to Friday because it's an easy job that ends as soon as I walk out the door, it gives me the financial freedom and stability to do other things that I love. However, I'm not using that time for my gifts and talents. My entire life I wanted to hold babies in orphanages. Crazy, right? But go to a third world country and see how those tiny babies live. I would hold 4 babies at a time because I just knew they needed human touch. They just needed to know they aren't alone. What happened to that girl? She realized holding babies wouldn't let her retire one day? So now I have the job with the great 401k, and what? I have weekends. I have holidays. I need to find that thing that brings me joy because I know I'm letting my light shine. I'm going to read a book suggested by Brené called One Person/Multiple Careers by Marci Alboher. I'm hoping to get more insight as to what steps I need to be taking to embrace the slash and become a banker/ fitness enthusiast/ chef / holder of babies. 

Read this book if you think any of those things would speak to you in your own way. 

Xoxoxoxo

You have a face more beautiful than Cinderella

You guys, I just feel like Brené Brown GETS me. She talks so much about the characteristics that are so important to me to nurture and cultivate. If you dive into her work she talks a lot about authenticity and also about perseverance. She gets the vast important of self-hearting and has helped me so much in identifying how and WHY I react to situations the way that I do. Check out her stuff (any of it) if you haven’t already! If you aren’t a reader, check out her TED talks or her Super Soul Oprah talk she did recently!

 

“If we want to cultivate hopefulness, we have to be willing to be flexible and demonstrate perseverance. Not every goal will look and feel the same. Tolerance for disappointment, determination, and a belief in self are the heart of hope.”

― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

 

Not every goal will look and feel the same. She may have been referring to one’s own personal goals, but I think it’s important to point out that you and I may have the exact same goal: get healthy. But your 'get healthy' and MY 'get healthy' probably look and feel completely different, because we are completely different. And that is more than ok! When we start comparing our goals against someone else’s goals, we can start to rob ourselves of our hopefulness and of our perseverance. I am guilty of this and it’s something I have to work hard at to overcome. Own YOUR goals, be flexible in them, stay determined.

Make sure you are taking time out of every day on whatever part of your journey you are at, and you appreciate exactly who you are today. Do not worry about yesterday, or tomorrow. You are awesome and worthy of everything good right here and right now. Touch your stomach, touch your legs, speak to yourself like someone you love. Maybe that's really hard for you, but it's important. Sit with that uncomfortable feeling, get to the root of why you don't feel good enough today. 

XOX

True Grit

When you google “Perseverance and Passion” ALL of your searches will return the definition for “grit”. I apparently live under a rock, which is why I love doing these character challenges, it’s not only an education on myself but an education on many new terms/studies/facts.

You guys probably already know about Angela Duckworth and her TED talk because YOU don’t live under rocks! But she conducted research on kids and adolescence regarding their intelligence levels/ perseverance/ etc.… I don’t have kids yet so I don’t really care yet (just keeping it real) but I have dog eared it and will return to it, swear!

Anyway, grit.. defined by Duckworth “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” She also states that the essence of grit remains elusive (see, told you there’s no ONE way to build perseverance)

I don’t really like the word itself, grit… I get a mental picture of someone clamping their jaws down and causing a gritting sound. Yikes.

 

And you know how we talked about resiliency (buoyancy) is a super important component to perseverance? Andrew Zolli has a book about it and I like that he stresses the importance on CREATIVITY to resiliency! A connection I had made in my subconscious but when reading it, the lightbulb definitely went off. I have found this to be very true in my own life. I get knocked to the ground and I don’t want to keep getting back up in the same manner time after time; it’s so important to be creative in your approach. Stay committed to the goal but stay flexible, stay creative. And as you already know, stay HAPPY. If it’s making you severely unhappy, it probably isn’t worth it.

THIS quote taken from an article on Forbes is everythangggg

“…resilience is the powering mechanism that draws your head up, moves you forward, and helps you persevere despite whatever obstacles you face along the way.  In other words, gritty people believe, “everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end.”

 

Another factor for grit is an attitude of excellence. No, not perfection. There is no such thing as perfection unless you are a prodigy or a professional athlete and honestly, neither of those will be reading this blog… excellence is not an endgame. Be awesome ever day, don't bother with perfect.

 

Set your mind right. Have courage. Be happy. It’s all right there at your fingertips. HAVE GRIT.

XOX

Slow and Steady

I’m finding we, as a culture, don’t really use the word PERSEVERE very often. Maybe that’s why I mistook diligence with perseverance for so long. It’s a bit King James Bible English and it literally has the word SEVERE in it. It doesn’t roll off our tongues quite as well as its synonyms.

 

But the most successful, or rather, the people who have had the most influence in this world were able to persevere. One step at a time. That’s what perseverance is. You focus on the minute or the hour or the day in front of you and you speak your goals and you take another step closer to them. We do live in a culture that values speed over perseverance. How many times in your fitness journey has someone asked you what the special trick is? What are you doing differently? What they are asking is, what pill or what food or what fast solution have you found that I need to know about? I have found that the people who ask me that question turn up their nose when I say that I eat healthy and workout 6 days a week. They don’t have to hear that, they do not want to travel down the rocky road (yum, ice cream) of having to persevere indefinitely with unforeseen obstacles. They want to quick results and they want them NOW.

 

NOTHING worth having comes easily. Fitness, long-term health, meaningful relationships, successful business.  

 

Perseverance is a common thread in the Christian Bible (and perhaps other religious books but I am most familiar with the Bible) maybe because it requires a bit of hope and faith. You have to be hopeful that your hard work will pay off; you have to cling to faith in yourself that you can overcome those tough obstacles that stand in your path.

Frenemies

http://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/going-beyond-talent-eliminating-5-enemies-of-perseverance

Enjoying this little blog post about the 5 Enemies of Perseverance

 

Enemy #1: A lifestyle of giving up

I like that they point out the link between potential and perseverance. You will never know the depth of your talents OR your potential if you keep babying yourself or giving up when the going gets tough. How awesome will it be to stick to your goals day after day and continuously amaze yourself at all you CAN do.

I am really guilty of this one… I baby myself. I recently read a quote that someone posted about how you shouldn’t be afraid to be a beginner. WOW talk about a truth bomb that I hadn’t even recognized before then. I am afraid to be a beginner. I hate going into doors of new places first, I hate first dates, I hate interviews, I hate going to a class for the first time alone, I reject things if I am not naturally good at them. And now, I realize, this is out of FEAR. For the rest of the month, I will be sitting with this enemy of perseverance and making sure it will no longer be in my way.

 

Enemy #2: A wrong belief that life should be easy

I guess this one comes to me honestly as I was never raised in a household with money. I never really expected things and I certainly never thought life would be easy. My mom made sure to drill into my head, in fact, how hard life would be. (That’s probably where my financial anxiety stems from, really.) But instead of being disheartened and discouraged that life kinda sucks sometimes, I narrow my focus on the beauty I can create by working hard and seeing the silver linings.

 

Enemy #3: A wrong belief that success is a destination

Yep, definitely super guilty of this previously. Previously, as in a few weeks ago. If you think you have arrived, you are in deep trouble. As soon as I would think, ah finally, I have reached my goal. I would begin slipping backwards almost immediately. And then I would blink and be right back where I began. THIS TIME, I understand that perseverance is forever.

 

Enemy #4: A lack of resiliency

For this, I prefer a synonym…buoyancy. Our ability to float on top of the treacherous waters. I have used this example before, but it’s what I use and it works for me. I think of my life as a blue and cloudless sky. Emotions and circumstances are clouds (sometimes fluffy and white, sometimes dark and scary) but I know if I just keep thinking of that blue sky, the clouds will pass over. Sometimes it’s hard to be strong, especially emotionally. It’s okay to take time and cry face down in your pillow until you literally can’t any more, but then, get up, stop crying, and go kill those goals because at the end of the day, doing something productive to enhance your life will make you feel better.

 

Enemy #5: A lack of vision

What is your why? Why did you start? Why do you continue?

Do you physically write out your goals every week? Speak them into existence? I highly encourage you to sit with yourself in silence in a relaxed state and let your mind set your intentions for the upcoming day/week/month. Whatever works for you. As soon as you meet one goal, set another. Keep envisioning all those things you want and you deserve.

Hope this helps you as much as it did me!

XOX

Opt Out On Stress

We can have bad days. We can have bad weeks. Sometimes life gets really dark. A dear loved one may pass away, you may have to go through a terrible break up, or God forbid, a divorce. You may get devastating news. Sometimes, our goals have to shift.

 

But let me say this, really think about if the bad thing(s) that has happened is worth you giving up making yourself a priority. Sometimes it will be, a health problem, a sick child, etc. But sometimes, like in the case of a break up, you deserve, more than ever, to be number one. You deserve to keep persevering through your goals even though it can seem impossible. Everything is possible, you just have to accept that you are strong and worthy.

 

As I am sure you know by now, I have (MANY TIMES) robbed myself of clarity and focus because I allowed my mind to be preoccupied with unnecessary stress and worry (usually over finances). I am, in addition to my character challenge, trying to master a Zen mind. This spills over into perseverance, because without a clear mind you cannot focus and you cannot be successful in your daily tasks. Recently, my check engine light came on… normal people probably don’t flip out about those kinds of things. Well, I would have. I probably would have gotten myself SO worked up over the POSSIBILITY that something “expensive” could be wrong that I would cry from stress, eat from stress, scream at other people over my stress. I opted to take deep breaths, empty my mind. In this, I realized, it happens, things break, you have to pay to fix them. It’s money, it comes and it goes.

 

Don’t put yourself in positions of stress, if you can help it. Remove yourself from stressful environments and relationships. If you are serious about your goals, this will be somewhat easy for you. Let go of the actions of others. Do not worry yourself over the future. Do not stress yourself out about things you cannot control. You can control your mind, your attitude, the work you put into your task at hand.


Thanks for being here,

A + B = C

There are surprisingly very few articles about fitness and perseverance. I mean, there ARE, but they don’t go into any detail about HOW to develop perseverance. They all pinpoint that it is necessary to succeeding in life (and in fitness goals, obvs). But all of those articles severely lack any explanation as to how we are supposed to stop making excuses for ourselves and start putting in the work even on our worst days. There are crazy amazing personal testimonies out there about people who persevered and were successful and therefore insanely inspiring…but again, they go into no detail about how to find that perseverance within yourself.

 

I have been dwelling on this and I have come up with a theory about this word, perseverance. It has its own definition, of course, but in the terms of our lives...what if it’s just an accumulation of other words? A scientific formula of characteristics and circumstances we must create in order to persevere? Patience + self-control + drive + diligence +passion + joy = perseverance? What do you think? Hear me out, if you think you will reach ANY goal overnight, your willingness to persevere has died before it got through the doorway. The changes I made to my lifestyle were changes I plan on making for life, patience is necessary. Self-control, I have to get myself out of bed in the mornings to work out or commit after working, I have to choose clean foods over indulging every day. Drive, you have to WANT it. Diligence, you have to work hard at it consistently. Passion, you have to MEAN it or you don’t really want it. JOY, if you are angry that you are no longer sitting on the couch or you are unhappy giving up certain foods your goals will not manifest. You have to be HAPPY about your new journey.

 

In pinpointing this little formula, I think I have found where, previously, I would fail time and again when it came to persevering in the long term. I either let my self-control fizzle because I thought self-love was letting myself have whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. I have now learned that self-love is taking care of myself with clean foods and making my fitness a priority every day because I deserve to be healthy and happy with my body. If that wasn’t what was failing, it was certainly my patience. I used to see fitness with an end in sight. For example, I would hit my ‘goal weight’ and then slack off working out and gradually start eating poorly. Because, to me, I had met my goal right? But when I think like that, it completely throws off my perseverance and I find myself right back where I started.

 

This time it is different, I understand my own formula (maybe your perseverance formula is different from mine?! Please share, I would love to hear!) and I have what it takes to persevere. If I find myself wanting to slack off, time to do a self-check and see what I am missing and what I need to do to balance out my equation.

XOX

Time Triggers

Self-control and perseverance often hold hands. You break them up and things could potentially turn ugly. I have been trial running setting an alarm early enough to get in my workouts on days that I know I will have a busy evening and therefore will be much less likely to get through my workout. Rolling out of bed on time to work-out for me takes A LOT of self-control. I would really rather roll back over for 30 minutes too long. In this, I have started to identify what my time triggers are.


Have you identified your time triggers yet? Maybe late night sweet tooth cravings? Or maybe Tuesdays when your favorite show is set to come on and you would rather couch veg than get in that workout? Let’s make sure our self-control and perseverance are on good terms so we can rock our fitness and health goals (and beyond).  Join me in identifying and then setting a scheduled plan to overcome those and stay on track!


Remember, these are YOUR goals that you set for YOURSELF because you decided you are worth the time and the effort! Baby steps if you need, I will be slowly adjusting my self-control to get me out of bed one day per week when my alarm sounds at 4:30 and get in that workout. Hopefully this will be a huge stride in my long-term goals in which I will need my self-control and perseverance to be BFFLs in order to succeed.

XOX

Apple Trees?

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” The internet says this is a quote from Martin Luther. Whether it is or not, for our sake, it doesn’t matter.

But this quote has really spoken to me today in my study of perseverance.

It used to be my excuse that you only live once, the world could end tomorrow, it could end tonight! Therefore, I need to eat these nachos, that cookie and then this slice of cake with some ice cream. Because I may never get to again! Right? Eats an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's - YOLO!

I am slowly coming to realize that I would rather ‘plant my apple tree’ even if I did know the world was to end tomorrow. Wouldn’t you rather go out doing something meaningful and worthwhile to yourself? I think I would. I don’t think this would have been my answer 6 months ago, or even 3 months ago, honestly. The ambiguous future is no longer a worthy excuse for me to lose focus on the goals I have set for myself.

Maybe that’s the essence of perseverance then? To understand your hard work is worthy of you in the HERE AND NOW, regardless of what may come.

Stick It!

http://www.inc.com/lee-colan/10-things-the-most-persevering-people-do.html

 

The link for a list of 10 tips to help you 'stick with it' - I only chose a hand full because I didn't feel all of them applied.

 

Sharpen your focus.


Keep your goals visible at all times – through Fit Girl’s Guide I saw how beneficial writing out my fitness goals were. I have found that you essentially speak those goals into existence every day when you write them out. I have carried that over into every area of my life and write out weekly, monthly and yearly goals in my planner that is carried with me everywhere so that I am constantly reminded of small, achievable goals that I need to be working towards.

Worry wrecks your focus.


I am a bona fide worry wart. I have anxiety about the future and things I cannot change and things that will probably never happen. I will have to work on this for sure in order to become more steadfast! When I spend my energy worrying, I have no energy left to do things right here and now that need done.


Tame your technology.


I have learned this as time has gone on, if I stop doing what I am doing to check my phone, my focus has been shifted. I lose momentum. Just because you receive a notification, don’t turn your attention away from your task! If you need to set a time block and make your family/friends/work (whatever your circumstance) aware that you will be unavailable during that time slot every day, you will find you get so much more done on your goal list! I think I might start setting aside more time away from my phone in the evenings for time beyond just working out, like time for reading or coloring to wind down from the day.




Prepare for two steps ahead.


I am a planner through and through. Sometimes I get TOO ahead of myself and lose focus on the task at hand because I am already focused on what needs done in the future. I need to learn to balance that better. Preparing while remaining in the present.

 

 

‘Do or do not. There is no try’


"Life rewards those who let their actions rise above their excuses." Less excuses is actually one of my big “resolutions” for this year and beyond. Yes, it’s okay to fail. But I have a bad habit of setting myself up to make excuses for failing BEFORE I even fail!

 

You get what you expect.


Set high expectations for yourself. And for others. I do. Know what you are capable of and know who you are and then set that bar high. When you reach (and then exceed) those high expectations you set for yourself, you will be even more proud of your hard work and persistence to make those things happen! If you only expect the minimum from yourself, what will drive you to push hard?


XOX

Persevere

I am a terrible blogger, I always have been. I get so carried away with everything else in life that I forget to take a moment to write down a stream of coherent thoughts. And, really, my thoughts are rarely coherent.


Authentic/Genuine ended up being a pretty easy word for me, I am a 'real' person but I did manage to reach out to old and new friends without fear of being completely me. I also was able to start saying, 'let me check on that', rather than responding with an immediate yes in reference to future plans. I would say December's Character Challenge was a win.


For January, I had decided my word was to be Diligent. But, I guess I always equated diligence with perseverance when in fact they have two different meanings. I am officially changing my word to Perseverance. I am diligent, I am very hard working (not necessarily by nature, but by my mother's example) and always strive for my absolute best. It's just in me to be internally motivated to get things done right and on time. BUT where I struggle and where I need work is SEEING THINGS THROUGH TO THE END.


Enter: perseverance.
 

per·se·ver·ance

noun

steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

Synonyms: persistence, tenacity.

Steadfastness, to be firm and unwavering.

January will not be as easy for me as December. I have written out many goals for 2016 and I want to fully adopt Perseverance so that I will see through each and every goal because they are important to me and I deserve to be steadfast and not excuse them out of laziness or carelessness. 

Who else is hard working but lacking in follow through? Will you be joining me throughout January in learning more about ourselves and what we need to do to adopt a steadfast attitude in our daily lives?

XOX

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."