Emotional Triggers

I am all too familiar with events, moments, feelings... that trigger something inside of me that make me want to cover them up. I don't want to feel them, so I look to numb them. It can be challenging to identify what exactly our triggers are, but this process of getting to know and understand them can help us heal, and learn how to cope better in response.

I have had many triggered responses to avoiding pain. Anger, blame, shutting down, becoming needy, striving for perfection. I also turned to addiction in the form of sex, alcohol and food. The problem with refusing to deal with our feelings is that it only compounds the root issue. We stack problems on top of our problems. We can decide to wrestle our old demons, to set ourselves free. We can decide to live positively, to let go of our bad habits for new, productive ones. We can finally understand that we must lean into our feelings with courage. We can recite the mantra, the only way out is through, a million times...

But those triggers, they don't die so easily. They bubble up, in moments of weakness, in unexpected ways on the worst of days. Life just happens. We can make a series of choices that put us in a bad spot or we can be totally caught off guard. Sometimes it's small choices in small moments that begin to create a snowball effect that can get away from us before we even have a chance to comprehend what we have put into motion.  

My point is, you can grow into the person you were meant to be, the person you WANT to be. But those demons, they're powerful and lie wake in the shadows. It's when we start noticing old patterns, old behaviors, thoughts. . It's then that we need to force an out of body experience, gain perspective. Are you about to make choices that would make yourself proud? Choices that take you closer to or further away from the life you want to be living? 

When something makes us feel shitty, we can absolutely turn tail and slither back into the comfort of our old skin. You can call all the men you haven't spoken to in years, you can drink your way to the bottom of the bottle, you can scream at people that love you, you can find yourself so high you're level with the clouds, you can consume 5,000 calories in one sitting. But is that the person you know you were born to be? 

Listen to me...every day isn't going to be a goddamn rainbow. Shit is going to fly in this life. Right then, you get a choice - to show up or shut down. To be the person you deserve to be or the person who you went through hell and high water to overcome. It's okay to have sex (with strangers) it's okay to drink and eat (in excess) but it's not okay to use those things to numb whatever it is you don't want to experience. You're better than that. No...you are. Maybe you don't think so right now, maybe you feel like you aren't worth anything. Maybe you just want to give up and give in. Maybe you already have. 

One truth that I hold onto is this, 'when we numb the dark we also numb the light.' Choose to feel. It's not always pretty and it's certainly not always fun but it's on those days that we choose to show up that makes us a little braver each time. 

Identify your triggers. See them unfolding, speak your feelings. Check in with yourself with compassion. What do you (really) need? It's probably not the things you viscerally yearn for. If you need support, if you need alone time, if you need to extract yourself from a situation or person, do that. Put yourself first. 

Repeat to yourself as often as needed: I love you. I'll always love you. Be strong. Remember you don't have to be anyone you don't want to be. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

IIFYM

What is a macro?

“Macros” is a term for macronutrients. There are macro- and micronutrients in everything that we eat. When you hear someone say that they are tracking their macros, that means they are tracking how many carbohydrates, fats and proteins they are getting throughout the day. You or someone else will set your macros based on your age, activity level, goals and current body composition in a mathematic equation that spits out your totals for each group. Typically macros will look something like ‘60/40/20’ and that means 60% coming from carbs, 40% coming from protein and 20% coming from fats – and like I said, that number is different for each person as we are all different. Your macros will fluctuate as your body changes. You don’t bother with calories as the fiber content and other factors can effect caloric density and you just focus on the macro count in everything that you consume. This can be tracked easily on apps like My Fitness Pal and always with a food scale.

 

Why did you start in the first place?

Competitive bodybuilders use macro counting to ensure that their body composition is in peak condition on the day that they compete. They “bulk” and gain a lot of muscle and then cut back as competition nears to shed fat and let their muscles pop out. I don’t have a desire to compete but I did have a desire to change my body composition. I was “skinny fat” meaning that I had lost a lot of weight (60 pounds) but still had a higher body fat percentage than I wanted to. Basically, I wasn’t building a lot of muscle. I found that I was undereating for an extended period of time and so my body wasn’t retaining muscle gains (my body was basically eating muscle instead of growing muscle)

 

Did it work?

Yes. I saw drastic changes in my body composition in a positive way. I learned a lot that allowed me to have a healthier relationship with food – I wasn’t afraid to eat more thinking that I would gain weight back. I stopped being weary of certain foods and just saw food as nourishment. I also got a lot out of using the food scale. I was amazed at what a true serving size looked like with some things (like fruit!) and was pleasantly surprised by others (I was always so skimpy with my nut butters and came to realize I wasn’t even using a whole serving)

 

Why did you stop?

I have a tendency towards obsessive behavior. Counting calories and counting macros are both essentially the same thing. They are both diets. You are restricting what you eat. You are placing restrictions on yourself to change something about your body. Now, for some people that is absolutely fine and they have a healthy relationship with food and their body and it is a great addition to their routine. I just found myself overanalyzing my body, not allowing myself to eat things because it didn’t “fit”, etc. It was really, really time consuming. I was spending so much time planning out my meals and making sure everything fit my macros. It just got to be overwhelming and was causing me to have a really obsessive and negative feeling around my fitness and my health. I also hate math, and it is a lot of math.

It also takes the focus away from important micronutrients. A lot of the “IIFYM” community raves about how they can eat cookies, ice cream, cakes and donuts and it totally fits their macros – and it DOES. But what is that doing to their insides? Where are they getting their vitamins and things that make you truly healthy? I was really turned off by that aspect especially as someone who is educated on the health benefits of plant sources and the detriments of pre-packaged foods.

 

Would you recommend trying it?

Yes. If you think you have a healthy relationship with food or that some of the tools from macro tracking could help you for a short time, do it! It is educational. It is a very efficient and effective way to shed body fat (or bulk, depending on your goals) The food scale will definitely help you understand portion if you struggle with that. It’s nice because you can take the tools you learn and continue use even after you stop officially tracking. Once you get an understanding on how it works you can even start setting your own macros. It can also help you realize that one food group or type of food is not BAD. A donut has the same macro value as something healthier etc. so it does teach you that you don’t have to deprive yourself of treats to make progress.

 

What are you doing now?

I am intuitively eating, if you want to label it. But really, it just feels like I am trying to be my healthiest self. I now know how much I need to feel satiated and have a good idea of how many meals I need per day and at what times I get hungry. This is something you learn with experimenting and with time. I eat a whole foods, plant based diet. I eat when I am hungry and I stop when I am full. I am now at a place where I just eat healthy because I enjoy it, I don’t have to obsess about what is about to go into my mouth day in and day out. If I find a recipe on Minimalist Baker or Oh She Glows that sounds really good to me, I make it. I eat it. I ENJOY it. Tracking macros was not fun for me and I just want to let you know that if any part of your life is causing you unhappiness in any way, fix that shit. You do not have to track anything to meet your goals, you can. But you absolutely do not have to. My personal suggestion is always to educate yourself, look into changing your diet to include more whole foods from plant sources. Talk to me. Ask me anything. We are in this together!

 

Are you worried that you won’t be able to meet your goals?

Sometimes. I let doubt creep in especially when I try to compare myself to others or when I start wanting to look like someone else. But I just keep focusing on what makes me happy and challenging myself to be better every day. Right now I am trying to get more comfortable in the weight room at the gym and trying new workout programs at home. One thing that you have to realize and get through your head is that every single body is different. One person may hold their fat in their legs and one person may hold their fat in their stomach and one person may hold their fat in their arms. And each one of those people is probably self-conscious about that and wishing they looked like the person standing next to them.

 

 

If you would be interested in me doing a blog post on how to eat for your goals WITHOUT tracking, let me know! I can share some of my tips and what I have learned along my journey

XO

S E L F

This is one of the hardest topics for me to speak openly about. To be candid, it takes a lot of courage and energy. However, I choose bare my soul so that other women can feel comfortable to do the same. I had a couple of ladies ask me to do a post on the mental aspect of transformation and that is what I am attempting to do. . .

 

Self-love

You have to commit to learning and practicing self-love tools. This is the single most important aspect when it comes to health, nutrition and fitness. (IMO) If you want to be your happiest and healthiest self? You absolutely have to sit in a quiet place and soul search and read books and watch videos and talk to other women about what self-love looks like, and deciding that you are worthy of your own affection and unconditional love. I suggest Brene Brown above all other references as well as Neghar Fanooni (who you can find on Instagram). If your body starts to transform out of a place of disgust or hatred, your mind will not follow the transformation, your mind will still see imperfection.  And even still, if we don’t actively practice our self-love and use our tools to combat shame demons, those self-deprecating thoughts will still brew under the surface. Self-love isn’t just important for what we see on the outside but also how we fuel our bodies. You are allowed to fuel your body. You are allowed to rest and recover. Recovery is a part of training. Maybe you take a week off, maybe you have a few tiny slip ups every day. you can’t get disappointed in yourself or feel shameful of yourself because that will just lead to you having a mentality of “all or nothing” and that is not going to be sustainable. Show yourself some compassion! If you struggle with perfectionism, I think you will find that will start to ease as you practice these tools as well. Take 'perfect' out of your vocabulary and just show up and life your best life.

 

You are not alone

When your body begins to change, you may notice that your mind logically sees the progress but somewhere your brain feels like it’s tricking you. You somehow feel like you are harder on yourself than ever, that you still look the same, that you still have so far to go. You are not alone in this. I don’t know scientifically or psychologically what this phenomenon is or what it’s caused by, but I can say that I have experienced it firsthand. It’s almost like dysmorphia in a way. I have come to the conclusion that it’s because for such a long time we really avoided spending a lot of time looking at ourselves, especially in the mirror. Then we start putting this laser focus on our bodies. We get so caught up in spending time on the scale or in the mirror that we train our eyes and brains to see each flaw and can no longer associate the past from the present. Photos definitely help with this, but I will say too that even in photos it’s hard for me to see progress even when I logically know it’s there. This comes and goes and isn’t always true for me, and it’s hard to explain. I do know that a lot of women struggle with this and I just want you to know you aren’t alone.

It’s easy for me to become consumed by things, it’s in my personality to gobble up every piece of something until I have perfected it. I had to realize that my health cannot be just one of the hobbies I get stuck on temporarily and obsess over and then move on to the next. It’s not easy to reprogram our minds but it can be done. Working with a registered dietician has really helped me in this aspect as I really think I needed someone besides myself and besides eBooks or videos to see my body as a third party and shake me out of that mentality of “oh I look the same” or “not making any progress”. I really do feel that working with her has healed something in me and I am starting to associate health with strength and energy and not thinness and low weight.

 

Mindset, in my experience, is the hardest part of adopting a healthy lifestyle. It gets easier but I still struggle every week. I can now actively practice self-love. I now know my support system and who I can turn to for healing.

 

If you find yourself struggling with this and you can relate to this on any level, let me know. I really think it helps combat those feelings when we reach out and connect.

XO

Baby, let me be your motivaton (note to self)

 

A lot of you were curious as to what keeps me motivated on a day to day basis. How do I stay committed? How have I not ‘fallen off’ in the past year and a half?

 

Here is my biggest and best secret: I am not motivated to eat healthy and work out every day. ‘Falling off’ has different degrees, and you have to get comfortable with the idea that there will be bumps in the road. Embrace the imperfect days because there will be SO many and you can’t let those deter you from your healthiest self.

 

I think, culturally, we have become accustomed to instant gratification, working hard when we feel like it. I choose to set myself to a higher standard. I always try to lift my gaze, I try to play the long game. Yes, I have immediate goals. But my biggest goal? Living a long, healthy and happy life. There is no quick fix there, I just show up every day. Each day brings a new set of circumstances and a new mood. I acknowledge that and I work anyway. It’s never really about motivation, it’s about discipline. It’s about being committed to yourself, to your health. And I also stopped telling myself that every workout had to be according to plan or every workout had to be amazing. They don’t have to leave you in a pool of sweat with sore muscles to count. If you just do your best every day, whatever that means for you. Your best will change day to day AND THAT’S OK. It’s normal, even.

 

I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear, that you just have to do it. That the hard work is achieved by working hard. If you can get yourself to a place where you show up every day and get in your work out then I promise the feeling of motivation will strike in the midst or even after you have finished. You will think, wow, I didn’t feel like doing that at all but I did it and now I feel awesome and now I know that I AM capable of getting it done even when I didn’t feel like it at the beginning. This is a lesson that will resonate throughout your entire life. We don’t always FEEL like going to work, but when you are the one showing up and getting things done, the right people will notice. You may not FEEL like being open and honest and vulnerable with your significant other, but you will feel connected and your love will flourish as a direct result. Be about that delayed gratification life with a little instant sprinkled in every now and again because #balance.

 

Inspiration can be found on every corner of the internet. You have to decide that you are willing to put in work, that you are willing to put action before emotion. Then, every single day, regardless of the circumstances, you will be ready to put your best foot forward.

 

 

Tips

• Have definitive goals, write them down (don’t just have them in your head) and make both short and long term goals

• Use a reward system if that works for you, yas honey bribe yourself, we all deserve to be treated for hard work

• Stop thinking of it as a list of things you HAVE to do but as a list that you are CHOOSING to do and honestly, that we are privileged to.

• Put action before emotion, don’t wait to feel like it

• Find what works for you in an enjoyable way, make it FUN (don’t be miserable! If you hate running, don’t run. If you get bored easily, switch it up regularly)

• Find your tribe*

 

 

 

 

 

*if you are reading this, it’s probably because you are part of my tribe. Thank you for supporting and uplifting me every day so that I can be my best.

 

The Queen of Morning Routine

A few of you wanted some tips / advice on a morning routine. This is something I can definitely share with you as I went from giving myself just enough time to get out the door in the morning, to giving myself time to get a sweat in, shower, be ready for work and have time to spare.

 

What worked for me?

I started setting my alarm early just one day per work week. You can do anything for ONE day as long as you are committed and disciplined (these lessons are for another day) I found that I much preferred having more time in my mornings and that my mood and energy were both vastly impacted in a positive way on the mornings that I was waking up early. This is not to say that you personally HAVE to get up before work and do your workouts, nothing wrong with the evenings if that is what makes you feel good and what works for you.

I started adding more early morning wake ups over a 4 week period until I was getting up early Monday-Friday. It was just easier on my body to transition more slowly like this.

If you want to wake up earlier, YOU HAVE TO GO TO BED EARLIER. Caps, just to make sure you know I mean it. You still need adequate sleep. I wake up at 4:30 am and I lay down for bed at 8:30 and am asleep around 9. This is really important and why I think a lot of people struggle with waking up early, if you aren’t truly rested then of course you are going to be exhausted.

 

An evolution

My morning routine used to consist of scrolling through my phone for half an hour, stumbling out of bed, pulling on my workout clothes and getting in a workout before getting ready for work. It was all a rush and mostly a blur, but I got in that sweat. Morning workouts were my priority and focus and I didn’t bother with anything more.

Now my morning routine looks something like this…do not scroll through any feeds, pull on workout clothes, oil pull, start my lemon ginger tea, have a glass of cold water, get in my workout, stretch, have a green protein smoothie, skincare, shower and get ready for work, water my plants, listen to a podcast on the way to work.

I added things slowly. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Some mornings if I am feeling really tired or I didn’t sleep well, I take an extra hour to snooze. It should be about honoring your body and doing what’s for it, not punishing it.

 

Body care

I’m just going to touch on these briefly but they are a part of my daily morning routine and very, very important to how I feel throughout the day so I wanted to include them.

1. Skin care- I have never had a naturally clear and even complexion. I have to take care of my skin or it will get angry with me, and quickly. I have found that Tula has a great line of products that are working really well for my sensitive skin. They use probiotic technology in their products which are what can help to protect your skin from environmental stressors like air pollution, allergens, toxins, and UV ray exposure which we experience every day.
2. Oil pulling- yes, it seem hippie dippy, and maybe it is. But it works! Oil pulling is when you take a teaspoon-tablespoon amount of coconut oil and swish it back and forth (pulling it) through your teeth. This is an ancient Ayurvedic practice and I found that it really does work. It basically allows the crud in your mouth to stick to the oils and when you spit it in the trash (NOT DOWN THE SINK) all of that is removed from your mouth. For me, it feels like I have gotten a dental cleaning each morning and I have been able to tell a huge difference in the whitening of my teeth. I also started flossing after oil pulling and before brushing which has helped with my gum health.
3. Gut health- I am super prone to bloating and gas so when I found Organic Digest from The Natural Citizen, I was hoping it would sort me out even if just a little bit. I was so thrilled with the results coupled with starting most mornings with a lemon ginger tea that I have the Organic Digest each morning in either my smoothie or in my oatmeal. If there was only one product I could use for the rest of my life, it would truthfully be this one. I can tell such a difference in the way that I feel. You would be surprised how much your gut health affects your energy and overall mood! If you find yourself feeling bloated and blah more often than not, you should try this! A bag can last you a long time and you can feel free to use the coupon I use for myself FITGIRLK8 at check out. This gets $10 off and like I said, you can use it as much or as sparingly as you find works for you. Yay for no more bloat and blah!

 

I know ya’ll, it’s a lot. But our bodies work so hard to take care of us and preform the best that they can, we truly are worth the time and energy to make sure they can be as healthy as possible for as long as possible.

 

You time

Take 5 (or more) still minutes for yourself to set an intention for your day, to check in with yourself, to practice gratitude, to reflect on how you feel. This could be done by just sitting in stillness, through journaling or even through yoga. This may be something you have to work towards as those first few weeks may just be about getting your feet on the floor and your butt out the bedroom door. But I really encourage some stillness to your morning so you don’t start the day in a rush and then perpetuate that feeling all day long. It may seem like we spend our whole day with ourselves, but do we really? How often do you find time to sit with yourself, no phone, no one else, no noise? Probably not very often. I find that since starting my day mindfully I have become so much more calm, less stressed and just a kinder and more grateful person in general.

 

Tips

• Lay out your workout clothes (or sleep in them) in the bathroom or bedroom floor. If you don’t work out at home and you will be leaving to go to a gym or studio, make sure your bags are packed and ready to go the night before.

• Set multiple alarms in 5 minute increments of one another (I always set one for 4:25, one for 4:30 and one for 4:45 just in case)

• If you find that an early morning routine is making you exhausted and not serving you in a positive way, don’t bother. There is nothing wrong with having a different schedule from someone else. What’s awesome for me may suck for you.

• Put your phone into airplane mode before falling asleep if you struggle with social media addiction, this way you are not bombarding with tempting notifications upon waking up.

• Have a glass of cold water before eating or drinking anything else, you are super dehydrated from not having any water for 8 hours!

 

I hope you will find a morning routine to be as special and beneficial to you as mine is to me. But if you don’t, that’s ok, too!

XO

This is Diet Culture

*I am not a dietician nor a nutritionist. I have no backing of these statements beyond my own experience and google education.

 

I want to talk about undereating.

Undereating? Is this bitch for real? I know, talking about undereating in a world focused on overeating seems unnatural. But is so important and not talked about enough, especially in a community of women geared towards poor relationships with food.

 

What do you mean a POOR relationship with food? I mean someone who overeats because of emotion. I mean someone who obsessively thinks about eating, or skips meals. Someone who yo-yo diets, calorie restricts or feels anxiety of any kind when thinking about eating/food in general.

Okay, so what is your history? For years I yo-yoed in weight, oscillating between calorie restricting diets and binge eating. Eventually I reached my heaviest weight ever because I used food to numb my emotions. Tired? Eat. Angry? Eat. Sad? Definitely eat. Happy? Celebrate with food. Bored? Eat all of the food. I grew up around people who had a disordered relationship with food, so it was one I came by honestly.

How or why did you realize you were undereating? I started a meal plan that put me at about 1200-1300 calories per day. At this time, I was working out little to none at all so I did not feel overly hungry and I was coming off of a diet where I had been gorging myself with food for months and months. It felt good to eat this amount, it allowed me time to detox what I had been putting my body through for so long and it also allowed me to develop cooking habits and portion control. When I started working out a lot more I began to notice I was hungry more often, but ignored it because I did not want to put weight back on, DUH! I would find myself going to bed hungry, waking up hungry. I found  myself obsessing over food, I wouldn’t be able to focus because all I wanted to do was think about when my next meal was. I had so much anxiety over food - not eating too much, making sure I hit my macros, planning my meals a week in advance so I could tweak as needed, meal prepping, eating out in restaurants. My bowel movements became very difficult and painful and were sometimes spaced out days at a time. My sex drive evaporated. My period disappeared (I also stopped taking my birth control for the first time in ten years, so I don’t attribute the lack of period to undereating)  

 

Why are you sharing this now? I’m sharing this now because I want this community to realize how easy it is to go from one extreme to another for some women. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t want anyone to feel like a slave to their food, I don’t want anyone to feel tired or run down or end up hurting their body in the long term by not getting enough food. Food is nourishment. Carbs are energy. If you are only eating 1200 calories a day, do you really think you are squeezing in all of the macro and micronutrients that your body needs to be fully healthy? Probably not. Look into metabolic damage. Please realize that when your body is telling you it is HUNGRY and you choose to ignore it, you are not honoring your body. I have been seeing and hearing more women sayings things like, “I saved my calories for this meal” or “I skipped snack so I could eat this now” or “I didn’t work out today so I will have to eat less”. It’s worrying me and I just felt obligated to put this out there into the Universe, just in case someone needs it.

 

I ignored my body's natural cues for so long that I almost forgot how to listen. Over the past few months I have been intuitively eating so that I can remember what it means to be hungry, how it feels to be comfortably satiated and full, and how to listen and honor those triggers. I began to truly have a healthy relationship with food for the first time in my life. My research of a plant based and whole foods lifestyle is what finally, truly, opened my eyes to what I had been (literally) buying into, and how I could adopt a lifestyle, rather than a diet, that would not only make me my healthiest but also be something that I would be able to sustain for my entire life. Going vegan has healed me in more ways than one, and I would totally love to float you some literature or documentary suggestions if you are into reading more about it!

 

A more comprehensive list of symptoms that could be brought on from undereating:

Low energy

Insomnia

Mood swings

Brain fog or poor concentration

Depression or anxiety

Hair loss

Feeling cold

Loss of menstrual cycle

Infertility

Constipation

Low sex drive

Sugar (or other food) cravings

Undereating for an extended period of time has the potential to damage you physically and psychologically. Just be aware of the information that is out there, know you aren’t alone, know you can always evolve. Don’t be afraid of food. Don’t be scared to feel full. Listen to your body, it may need more or less food than someone else based on body type, height, activity level and just your own metabolism. You shouldn’t feel obligated to match your nutrition to someone else’s.

I go with love,

*if you have any questions about going vegan, tracking macros, foods for micronutrients, questions about your specific needs, etc. please feel free to reach out to me here, Instagram, or you can find my email address in the bio of my IG as well.

 

Coaching

Ever since a fellow fit sister planted the seed in my mind, I have been rolling this idea in and out of shape. How could I manifest health and fitness into a career? How could I bring my gifts to fruition?

 

One of the ways I am working towards this is by hopefully getting trained to instruct spinning class. I am now taking lots of classes from as many instructors as I can and waiting for a certification program to be close enough to travel to. (So. Exciting. And scary.)

 

Another idea that I had was possibly ‘coaching’ – being a cheerleader, mentor, friend, and I guess you would call it ‘coach’. I would share what my upcoming meal plan for the week would be, calories, etc. so if you wanted to use anything you could. I could also help determine how many calories you should be taking in for weight loss or gain. I would possibly work towards writing my own workouts to use myself / share those with you. I would be available for questions, concerns, moments of weakness etc. I would have a questionnaire so I would be caught up on your medical history, nutritional needs or wants, goals, etc. I would also eventually incorporate Skype meetings per week so we could talk about your goals and progress. this is something you would be interested in, having me as a ‘coach’, please email me JamminRhodes@gmail.com and also please let me know a roundabout price you would be willing to pay per month. A price that you would think is truly fair and one that would also be sustainable. $25-40 / $40-60 monthly or packaged together in 6-8 week increments 6-8 weeks $60, 12-16 weeks $120 that would be paid to me through PayPal.

 

Thanks for your input as I continue to grow, learn and act on my passions

XO

Why BBG Just Isn't For Me

Thousands and thousands of women LOVE the Bikini Body Guides aka BBG created by Kayla Itsines. It just wasn’t for me.

 

I started BBG 1 almost 12 weeks ago. I used the app called ‘Sweat with Kayla’ which I think is BRILLIANT and I really, really love it. The features are seamless, you have your timer, your food, ability to take selfies, your workouts everything is just right there in one place. It can sync to your phone’s calendar, set alarms, and checks off what you have completed while showing what you have left to do for the week. I think it is worth EVERY penny and I wish I could create this same app for every aspect of my life. You can adjust your meal plan to accommodate your dietary needs and they are all great ideas, although I never actually made anything from the app.

 

The workouts themselves are also great. 28 minutes is truly all you need to tone your body. For the first few weeks I absolutely loved BBG and the challenge it gave me… but then it got boring. REALLY boring. I need variety, I need continual changes within my workout or I just will stop doing them altogether. That’s what happened in Week 11. . I just got BORED of doing the same rotation of the same 5 exercises. If you LOVE structure and you love stability and repetition (which some people THRIVE on that, it’s not a bad thing at all) then you need to go out and get BBG right now because you will freaking slay the game. It just isn’t for me. I also came off of BBG after doing the Fit Girl’s Guide Bootcamp which is their version of a 12 week program very similar in structure to BBG. The Bootcamp has 3 different workout structures per week and within those there is a lot of variation of movements, I found myself missing that aspect A LOT.

 

Kayla herself is amazing, obviously. She works HARD for her body and for the empire she is creating for herself – and to be so young! Seriously AMAZING. If I had those accomplishments and those abs I would show them off – I do wish she would show more of her outtakes but when you become that public, I’m sure it’s different. Especially when your reputation and company rely on your physical fitness.

 

RESULTS:

To be fair while I was doing BBG I also was going to spin and yoga once a week and started doing Z Body Fitness for strength training of the booty, legs and arms. I also incorporated HIIT on some days that just called for LISS.

With that said, I did drop a liiiittle bit of weight over the past 12 weeks. I haven’t taken my progress photos for BBG yet but I plan to do that this weekend and I am excited to see if I notice changes! I feel strong, I know I definitely feel amazing from working out and adopting a plant based and whole foods diet. I absolutely think that BBG was awesome for me physically, the disconnect came after weeks of repetition and the mentality part of it. I will be posting photos soon

 

Hope this helps

XO

The Power of Now 'Review'

I could give a synopsis of the book and summarize it that way but, you could just google that. So I am just going to touch on the points that were and have become relevant to my life. You should read the book if you are an active mind that worries/becomes anxious or even find yourself obsessing over the details of things that have happened in the past and you now feel disappointed about. If you wish to strengthen your meditation practice or quiet your mind, read the book! You will undoubtedly learn something from this book and most likely, something different than what I learned.

 

*Disclaimer: it is definitely a “deep” book – he says things like “time is an illusion”... so unless you can go into it with an open mind and heart, don’t bother picking it up. I found myself inwardly rolling my eyes a couple of times but I reminded myself to have an open mind and heart, and I am glad that I did!

 

The biggest takeaway for me personally is the understanding of where my anxiety stems from. He talks about how when you obsess over a time that is not here yet (the future) you become anxious because you tear yourself in half. You let your mind be THERE (the future) while your body is obviously still HERE (the present). Once I let that realization truly wash over me, I have felt so much more free. ALL the time we have is right here, this very second, so to obsess over the details of the future is only causing me pain. I now actively seek to remain mindful of the present moment and only the future as it is necessary.

 

The other is deepening my conviction that positivity is THE MOST important quality I can work on; by positivity I mean gratitude, love, joy, and happiness. I had already started the process before reading this book but if you find yourself struggling with complaining or just feeling negativity in general, this book will definitely give you tools to kick start your own light.

“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”

 

I started practicing yoga at the beginning of May and this helped build on those fundamentals as well. It had allowed me to become more spiritual and really helped me focus on my meditation. It has become a lot easier to clear my mind of noise and focus on the Now. I realized that I was creating a lot of my own problems. My mind was wanting problems because it gave my ego something to fix, something to feel good about. I was causing myself so much stress and for what? For nothing. I was allowing my mind to control me by creating problems aka creating pain. I am now actively working on listening to the mechanisms of my mind and shutting it down when it tries to create imaginary problems. EXAMPLE: when I start to have anxiety over my fitness progress, am I doing this right or that wrong etc… that is not a real problem. I know what I need to do every day to reach my goals and I am working on focusing on the day to day rather than allowing my ego to take over and make it a stressful situation. Imagine if EVERYONE took the time to focus on these issues – on finding true inner peace.

“The pollution of the planet is only an outward reflection of an inner psychic pollution: millions of unconscious individuals not taking responsibility for their inner space.”

 

And lastly, the biggest place in my life where this book helped was in my romantic relationship. I found myself judging him where I didn’t used to. (Again, my mind creating problems out of nothing) I found myself trying to pick at things that do not matter. “You cannot love your partner one moment and attack him or her the next.” It really opened my eyes to behaviors I had developed and it allowed for a discussion between Jeff and I which really did bring us closer and brought a lot of new respect to the relationship.

Hope you will be picking up a copy soon so we can chat about it!

XO

 

Patience is Love

I suck at yoga.

I don’t want to HAVE to practice.

I am a perfectionist, inherently prone to over criticizing myself.

I suck at yoga, which is exactly why I need to stick with yoga.

 

I found myself feeling so frustrated and embarrassed with my body at my last yoga class. I was thinking, why have I kidded myself into believing I am fit and I can’t even do a proper Warrior I? I almost felt tears well up in my eyes because I hate feeling singled out or critiqued. THAT right there says more about the root of the issue. It isn’t that I do or don’t suck at yoga, it’s that I still haven’t fully allowed myself to just BE. To learn. To grow. To be challenged. To appreciate. To be present.

 

Everyone has to start somewhere. Every professional was a beginner. Every yogi flowing right into a one legged crow or crazy headstand definitely didn’t just show up being able to do those things properly. Whatever your “yoga” is, know it’s okay to feel discouraged for a moment because it is human nature. But let’s pause long enough to appreciate our bodies for where they are, let’s pause and allow ourselves to be beginners. It does not undermine who you are, your worthiness, your strength.  Have patience with yourself – it’s part of the journey. Our bodies do SO much for us and if you are reading this you have chosen to honor your body. We can’t truly honor our bodies if we are getting frustrated and considering giving up. We (i) have to show patience.

 

I suck at yoga.

I don’t want to HAVE to practice.

But I will anyway, because I am allowing myself to learn, to be challenged, to grow, to prosper.

I am a perfectionist, but I am done criticizing myself.

I suck at yoga, which is exactly why I will honor my body with patience and do the yoga.

XO

Vegan Say What?

I have actually been getting a few questions about how I made the switch and I realized I never really gave a reason or back story as to why I was switching my diet. Doing a blog post let’s be longer winded and hopefully this will help some of you lovelies out on your own journey!

 

My earliest memories are of my deep love of things that cannot speak. I seriously remember having so many imaginary friends, having entire conversations with inanimate objects, and fiercely loving all plant and animal life. I was just born with this yearning to make everything feel loved, especially the things that aren’t getting love from other places. I would try to repair severed worms, I would scoop dead birds off the pavement and bury them (needless to say my mom never knew about those instances).

Vegetarian

When I was 13 I made the decision that I wasn’t going to eat meat and because I did most of my cooking for myself, my mom agreed she would buy vegetarian substitutions for me. I immediately cut out beef, pork and turkey. I took a bit longer with fish and chicken. Fish was the last thing to go. I ate a lot of imitation products back then and obviously wasn’t really concerned with ‘clean eating’ because I was a teenager and that wasn’t the kind of household I was brought up in. I still ate eggs and dairy but never drank or used milk.

I was VERY passionate about animal rights. I signed every petition. I saw every question about my diet as the start of a debate. I felt very deeply that I needed to spread the message about what was happening to the Earth and to these animals because of Big Agra and cattle farming.

 

As I got older, I let my passion for animal rights fizzle. I just stopped caring and educating myself on the issues. When I was around 20 or 21 years old I reincorporated fish into my diet because I thought I needed fish oil. Little did I know that the reason eating fish made me feel better was because I was not getting any proper nutrition (and fish really wasn’t helping as I would go on to gain more than 50 pounds).

 

Vegan

Fast forward a bit and I am 25, I have fallen in love with health, nutrition and fitness. I started finding plant based accounts on Instagram and my interest was piqued. I started reading books on vegan nutrition and lifestyle (Main Street Vegan, The Kind Diet, The Idiot’s Guide to Plant Based Nutrition, Forks Over Knives, The Starch Solution) and watching a few documentaries on Netflix (Forks Over Knives, Cowspiracy) and I felt that old flame blaze again. I felt really disappointed in myself, why didn’t I make the switch sooner? Why did I stop loving? The answer was that when I stopped loving myself, my ability to love and help others stopped, too. I let that disappointment go and decided on May 1^st that I was officially vegan.

 

 

Things I have noticed so far:

Pros

My nails are a lot stronger, and are growing faster, as is my hair (crazy right? Big Agra would like for you to think the opposite!)

My bowel movements are again very regular and pain free, bloating and gas are now to a normal minimum!

I am developing a MUCH healthier relationship with food (should I do a blog post on this?? Would anyone find it helpful to hear about my struggle with undereating?)

Trying lots of new and yummy foods and recipes!

I don’t actually miss the things I thought I would (ice cream, sour cream, cheese)

 

Cons

It is true that it is more difficult to go out to eat if you live in a rural area, but even in West Virginia we have a hand full of awesome restaurants that provide vegan options. AND there is an app for that! Which is great for people that travel a lot.

I can’t have Siggi’s anymore

 

Tips

Read as much as you can. Books, articles, blogs. If you aren’t a reader, totally hit up the documentaries! And YouTube is also a great resource for fast facts.

Determine based on your personality type how to go about it, baby steps or diving right in. (Main Street Vegan is a great read for how to approach both of these)

Don’t worry about “messing up” – there will be growing pains as there are with anything. If you accidentally eat something with an egg in it, it’s ok. Lessons have to be learned! I was reading an article from the Cleveland Clinic on pros and cons of switching to a plant based whole foods diet for health reasons, it gave a list of 5-6 pros and the ONE con was that it is easier said than done. This is true, you have to really be mindful and it does take more effort. But aren’t you worth that effort? Isn’t Mother Earth?

April Goals

At the start of this blog, I made sure to mention I am terrible at blogging! Life always gets in the way or I run out of inspiration on things to write about.


Focusing on a word per month was feeling daunting and I was feeling like I needed more time to reflect and work on particularly important characteristics to me.


I have been trying to focus on posting more quality than quantity images to my account but in turn, I have missed sharing so much. It's therapeutic for me to get things off my mind or off my chest. I also feel the same about this blog! I have been writing things in the notepad on my iPhone, instead!






April Goals:


Work on overanalyzing. I over analyze situations because I am truthfully afraid of what will happen if I am not prepared for it. Overplanning is killing the magic in big and small moments because I feel like I have to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for each and every given outcome. It's mentally exhausting. I want to take time to let go of this unnecessary anxiety I have developed.


I want to work on stepping into growth and stop staying put in safety.


I will continue to downsize material possessions.


I will manifest compassion and patience with others, especially at work.


I want to focus on further educating myself on nutrition. I have lots of ideas swirling around in my head about this. I am starting by checking books out from the library.


I want to continue focusing my vibrations into positivity.


I also want to get better at food photography! Maybe get a book from the library or look into a class possibly online or in person.


I want to continue my 0 workouts missed into the BBG 1 program!

Humility Cont.

More and more I have come to realize that humility is so closely entangled with religion, it is hard to break them apart.


I also found some writings of Nietzsche. He views humility as a strategy used by the weak to avoid being destroyed by the strong.


I think it is safe to say that humility is multifaceted and can be interpreted in many ways. For me, I just want to make sure I am keeping my pride in check while having a strong sense of self.


XO

More About Me & A Few Tips

Hey guys! SO many ‘about me’ tags and new girls asking about tips, so I wanted to do an entire blog post dedicated to it.

It feels really weird that 18 thousand people follow me and so many want to know more about me, but it’s also really cool because I genuinely consider my “followers” as friends. Like I am not a religious figure, let’s just refer to you guys as friends.

 

Some k8 FACTS

• My name is Kaitlyn and I do not, in fact, go by Kate.

• I am 24 about to be 25 on April 29^th (Taurus to a fault)

*I feel like I am filling out a MySpace survery rn*

• I bought my first home last year, all by myself. It felt really cool, and it still does. It’s definitely a lot of responsibility but I love having roots. Also, independent girl power.

• I don’t know that I have a favorite animal, but ever since my earliest memory I have loved them all. When I was 13 I chose to become a vegetarian and then around 19 I added fish back into my diet.

• I work a corporate job that I continually grow in and I am so excited to see where I will be within the company in 5 years.

 

 

OKAY now to the fitness facts/tips

Background story:

I was always average size and weight until I reached my biggest size in early college. I then decided to make good use of the gym membership I was paying for and actually got into really good shape. I still partied a lot (a lot) and made poor food choices but I did work out consistently. However, I was so unhealthy mentally. I thought I had to constantly have male approval of my body for it to be considered healthy, beautiful, sexy, etc. I continued working out and being physically healthy and mentally unhealthy up until I was about 22. I would stand in front of the mirror when I was PMSing and cry and cry and cry because I was bloated and I felt fat. That is SO not okay! if you do that, email me right NOW and let’s talk about how we can get you out of that thought process. I then went through a pretty devastating break up… I always take break ups hard because I have a very soft heart and we had been together for a while. Through our break up I learned that I was at fault and it was because of my anger issues that we broke up. I sought professional help in this and it actually helped me to see that alcohol was a deep seeded issue in my life and is where I started to ease my drinking habits (although I continued to binge to a point of scary) and I learned coping mechanisms for my anger.

I then was at my largest EVER. I went to the doctor and weighed in at 200 pounds. But I had learned to love myself. I had a new boyfriend who was different in a way I couldn’t put a finger on, yet. Before meeting him I had learned more about myself than I ever imagined I would at my age. I had accepted that I could feel sexy at any size and shape and I did. Most people think you need to lose the weight and THEN you get to love yourself. I am here to tell you to ditch that mindset right MEOW. Love yourself at step 0. Feel worthy right this second because you seriously are. You offer this world SO MUCH, who gives a rat’s actual ass if you don’t fit into society’s beauty standards right this minute? You deserve to be healthy but you also deserve to be happy. K?

Fit Girl’s Guide only propelled me into deeper self-love. HOLLA at those girls for spreading a message that is so important I cannot even emphasize it enough. I did my first round starting April 20^th, 2015 at a start weight of 177 and I am now almost done with their Bootcamp program and I weighed in at 139 (and it was evening!) most recently. It’s been really cool to see myself change so much on the inside and then see that reflected on the outside. I want that for you. I want you to focus on your inside changes just as much as your brain wants you to focus on the outside.

 

How do I stay motivated?
I really don’t have a cut and dry answer. I see this as a lifetime journey. I have no real “end goal” just small goals along the way that are constantly being met or being changed and I just go with the ebb and flow as best that I can. It's really important to set goals for yourself, btw. Attainable ones as well as bigger ones that may take a while! I went on vacation in October last year and did not hold back from eating one thing that I wanted, and it was hard to get back on track with my eating when I returned. And I just accepted that, got my shit together when my mind was ready, and that was that. You will have setbacks. You just have to adjust your mind to understand that you are not giving up no matter what, you will always get back on the wagon, train, horse? Whatever metaphor you want to use. Just don’t ever give up completely.

 

What tips do I have?

HAVE FUN. Good lord. If you hate running? DO NOT RUN. Guess who hates running? Me. Guess who doesn’t run? Yeah, me. There are endless options for strength and cardio, please do not pigeon hole yourself and get frustrated with something you don’t think is fun or worth your time. Now, I am not saying you don’t think working out is fun therefore you don’t want to work out at all. Not how that works, actually. Step outside of your comfort zone and there will be something that genuinely makes you happy and makes your body happy and healthy. I love to dance? Have you met Dr. Katy yet? She just realized her love of barre and she goes like, ALL THE TIME. What if she never would have went to that first class? What if I never would have gone to Zumba?

 

 Other random tips

 

Please do not scroll through Instagram and think your progress is less than. Everyone is generally just showing you their best shot, regardless of how real they try to be. Even I am guilty of both sides of this at times. Swear. I am the worst about comparing myself to girls on Insta and their awesome progress and bodies. But I am working on breaking out of that.

 

Don’t use the word cheat. It’s not a CHEAT meal, you are eating a meal that you want. Just like the other meals that day were meals you wanted, and that’s why you ate them. You aren’t ruining anything by enjoying a meal out. Maybe you want to look in to counting macros? Seriously, google anything that isn’t working for you. Educate yourself on the many options out there!

 

Eat better, NOT LESS. Do not eat under 1,200 calories and I am not kidding.

 

I find it incredibly easy to stay on top of my nutrition. I never really struggled with saying no. Confession: up until I started bootcamp? I HATED working out. Even when it was the workouts I enjoyed, I still would think about how much I would rather be couching it up or just relaxing in general. Seriously, that quote about it becoming a habit after 30 days or whatever? Well it took me like…. 7 months. So, like I said, just don’t give up. Fake it until you make it. No idea why everything clicked into place when I started bootcamp but it definitely did. Now it’s just something automatic I do every day and I feel off or weird if I don’t work out. And weirdly, I haven’t missed a single planned bootcamp workout. JUST DO IT, Nike are trillionaires because they are right.

Hope this helps and sorry it ran kind of long - I have almost been into this fitness thing for a year now so I have a lot of growing pains, stories, tips and just general passion to share!

I think tomorrow I will do a post on how I meal prep for my boyfriend because I have been getting a few questions about that as well!

XOXO

Walk the Walk

In today’s society, it seems, humility is solely piggy backed upon religion. Most internet searches will return Bible verses and steps to take to “become humble in the Lord”.

 

Also an associated search is, how to hump yourself.

 

This is a bit of a tough word. Everyone says “be humble. Humble yourself. Have humility. I feel so humbled.” But there isn’t a lot of explanation as to exactly what that should look like. But we all know what it DOESN’T look like.

 

I have noticed, lately, that I am trying to lay off on correcting people unless I know them well enough for them to know my intentions. I am trying to focus on spreading positivity and light and the important message of finding joy wherever you are.

 

What is your experience with humility?

Always Right

It’s really hard for me to be wrong. I am one of THOSE PEOPLE that are “always right”. I see your grammatical and typographical errors. It’s hard for me to really, truly, hear someone else’s viewpoint on something I care about. (Sometimes, even things I don't care about) 

This is where I will struggle the most with humbling myself. I need to realize that I am not ALWAYS right. I need to open my ears to new ways of looking at things. Just because it's my knowledge or my viewpoint does not mean it is without flaw or that I shouldn't be open to refute.

My boyfriend is my best lesson in this. He is so different from anyone that I would have ever dated. He has some crazy ideas that he spouts off about and I love him, so I listen. It has really shown me, in these past two years, that I am capable of shutting up long enough to let someone else give their view and I am even capable of agreeing with them and shifting my own opinion on some things.

When I put up the wall of “I am right, period” – it’s only me who is missing out. I am cutting off connections and knowledge that I could be gaining. They are just as worthy of being heard as I am, and that is a lesson I need to remember.

XO

Humility and Social Media

Social media mangles humility. Social media says, toot your horn for the world to see (or just your followers). Social media says, filter, edit and post for optimum number of likes to inflate your self-worth.

 

For me, personally, I am starting to pause before I post. Am I posting this because I genuinely feel it has a valuable message worth sharing? Or am I posting merely for likes or for people to cheer my ego forward? In the past few days I have tried to take a step back and remember why I have my fitness Instagram and why I keep it. It was originally for accountability, but I don’t actually need to be held accountable any more. My actions are now habits that I truly want to take part in. I am going to take a step back from posting a sweaty selfie just to clarify that, hey, look at me, I did wake up at 4:30 and get in a workout. Because, it’s a given. And I don’t need to share that every day to feel verified. I do want to focus on sharing food because it inspires me and inspires others. I want to post captions that show my raw and vulnerable and honest feelings, because that’s the important stuff. The sharing, the connecting. I want to make sure I am focusing on getting out the message of the importance of radiating positive vibes and keeping a grateful spirit.

 

It’s tough. I think humility is going to be similar to passion. Sitting here writing about it isn’t really going to do anything – I am going to have to put it into action. Let it work itself out as I focus my intentions into it.  

Humble Ramblings

A lot of people think that humility and confidence contradict one another. Not true. Absolutely 100% be confident in all that you are, it will bring you so much peace and joy internally (and therefore externally). But no one likes that person who is confident in a way that says they are the best, strongest, have gone through the toughest shit, smartest, hardest worker.

It’s okay to be wrong. You are not, in fact, always right.

Where I do struggle with humility is with my time and helpfulness. Ugh, I am so selfish with my time. I need to go see my grandma more, I need to volunteer, etc. but really what I want to do are all things that benefit me. I know, it sounds bad written down, but I am just being honest. I do try to be generous, I try to give back as much as I can to the FGG community, to friends and to family. I never expect anything in return because I just genuinely want to brighten someone’s day in the small way that I can.

I'm not yet feeling a spark of inspiration on the humility writings, but I am getting a lot of quotes that are resounding within me and reminding me to stay true to my authentic self and know who I am.

XOX

Humble Pie

OKAY work has been really busy the past couple of days so I haven’t had time to blog while here!

 

I meditated over the weekend and decided that HUMBLE will be my word for March.

 

Not that I don’t think I am already humble, but I don’t think I have a full understanding for the word.

 

hum·ble

adjective

1.having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

synonyms: meek, deferential, respectful

 

I pulled up this article on Forbes about 13 Habits of Humble People

 

They’re Situationally Aware

I pride myself on my emotional intelligence, I can usually just feel people out even if we aren’t in the same physical space.

 

They Retain Relationships

Yeah.. need to dig more on this and do more work… not a strong point for me.

 

They Put Others First

“Humble people know their self-worth. As a result, they don’t feel the need to cast themselves before others just to show them how much they know. Instead, humble people realize that nobody cares how much they know until those people know how much they’re cared for.”

 

They Listen

I could do better with listening, for sure.

 

They’re Curious

Yes, I have this one down pat.

 

They Speak Their Minds

Yes

 

They Take Time To Say “Thank You”

I was just raised this way so it comes naturally, almost always.

 

They Have An Abundance Mentality

I have started working on this recently. I think it has come with knowing myself more and growing up and into who I want to be.

 

They Start Sentences with “You” Rather Than “I”

Humble people brag about others, while the prideful brag about themselves.

Hmm.. I could use work in that area I am sure.

XOX

"You're such a grandma"

Not related to passion but I needed to write these feelings out of my spirit. 

FOMO - fear of missing out - it's a big thing thanks to social media. It's 6:30 am on a Saturday and I'm doing my usual scrolling before getting out of bed and starting my day.

I'm 24 years old. For some reason, when people use the phrase "act my age instead of like an old lady" something starts burning in my chest. Is it FOMO? Embarrassment? Shame? Am I ashamed that I don't remember the last time I was drunk? That I haven't had a drunk meal in 2 years? That I haven't blacked out in even longer? 

Yes, it does seem my peers, in general, have different values than I do at this point in life. And sometimes that makes me feel like I should be spending my evenings differently. But I don't WANT to be out late, I don't have any desire to get drunk. (Those headaches, I don't care to ever have one again) My goals and my idea of fun are just different, now. 

I came here to write out my feelings so I could let go of that negativity before starting my day. But also for any other 20-somethings that feel they're being called a loser or a grandma for how they spend their weekends. I did enough drinking for us both in this lifetime, there are no memories in alcohol. Get out and live, absolutely. But "living" does not equal alcohol on Friday and Saturday night. For me? It's spending quality time with my boyfriend and exploring new places together. For you? It could be family game night... Dinner with friends... Girls weekend.

Define your life however you want. Then live it to your fullest. No one is "cool" and owning your unique journey doesn't make you old, it makes you wise. 

Happy weekend y'all