This is one of the hardest
topics for me to speak openly about. To be candid, it takes a lot of courage
and energy. However, I choose bare my soul so that other women can feel
comfortable to do the same. I had a couple of ladies ask me to do a post on the
mental aspect of transformation and that is what I am attempting to do. . .
Self-love
You have to commit to learning
and practicing self-love tools. This is the single most important aspect when
it comes to health, nutrition and fitness. (IMO) If you want to be your happiest and
healthiest self? You absolutely have to sit in a quiet place and soul search
and read books and watch videos and talk to other women about what self-love
looks like, and deciding that you are worthy of your own affection and
unconditional love. I suggest Brene Brown above all other references as well as
Neghar Fanooni (who you can find on Instagram). If your body starts to
transform out of a place of disgust or hatred, your mind will not follow the
transformation, your mind will still see imperfection. And even still, if
we don’t actively practice our self-love and use our tools to combat shame
demons, those self-deprecating thoughts will still brew under the surface.
Self-love isn’t just important for what we see on the outside but also how we
fuel our bodies. You are allowed to fuel your body. You are allowed to rest and
recover. Recovery is a part of training. Maybe you take a week off, maybe you
have a few tiny slip ups every day. you can’t get disappointed in yourself or
feel shameful of yourself because that will just lead to you having a mentality
of “all or nothing” and that is not going to be sustainable. Show yourself some
compassion! If you struggle with perfectionism, I think you will find that will start to ease as you practice these tools as well. Take 'perfect' out of your vocabulary and just show up and life your best life.
You are not alone
When your body begins to change,
you may notice that your mind logically sees the progress but somewhere your
brain feels like it’s tricking you. You somehow feel like you are harder on
yourself than ever, that you still look the same, that you still have so far to
go. You are not alone in this. I don’t know scientifically or psychologically
what this phenomenon is or what it’s caused by, but I can say that I have
experienced it firsthand. It’s almost like dysmorphia in a way. I have come to
the conclusion that it’s because for such a long time we really avoided
spending a lot of time looking at ourselves, especially in the mirror. Then we
start putting this laser focus on our bodies. We get so caught up in spending
time on the scale or in the mirror that we train our eyes and brains to see
each flaw and can no longer associate the past from the present. Photos
definitely help with this, but I will say too that even in photos it’s hard for
me to see progress even when I logically know it’s there. This comes and goes
and isn’t always true for me, and it’s hard to explain. I do know that a lot of
women struggle with this and I just want you to know you aren’t alone.
It’s easy for me to become
consumed by things, it’s in my personality to gobble up every piece of
something until I have perfected it. I had to realize that my health cannot be
just one of the hobbies I get stuck on temporarily and obsess over and then
move on to the next. It’s not easy to reprogram our minds but it can be done.
Working with a registered dietician has really helped me in this aspect as I
really think I needed someone besides myself and besides eBooks or videos to
see my body as a third party and shake me out of that mentality of “oh I look
the same” or “not making any progress”. I really do feel that working with her
has healed something in me and I am starting to associate health with strength
and energy and not thinness and low weight.
Mindset, in my experience, is
the hardest part of adopting a healthy lifestyle. It gets easier but I still
struggle every week. I can now actively practice self-love. I now know my
support system and who I can turn to for healing.
If you find yourself struggling
with this and you can relate to this on any level, let me know. I really think
it helps combat those feelings when we reach out and connect.
XO
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