More and more lately, acquaintances are making comments about my weight. The most common being that I better be careful or I might just disappear.
And then my mother has relentlessly started in on me, comments about how I am too skinny, about how I need to be careful. Then when I can't help but feel defensive, she says that I'm angry all the time because I'm too skinny. That I'm obsessed. That I might be developing obsessive compulsive disorder.
This coming from my mom has really caused resentment and made me start to feel bad about my hard work. She has been overweight and obese my entire life. She's never had a healthy relationship with food as she struggles with depression and uses food to placate her emotionally.
I've finally managed to wiggle free of that upbringing, I want to be healthy and fit. I understand strangers have no idea of the amount of time and effort I put in every single day to guaranteeing that I get the nutrition I need as well as the minutes that tick by that I work to make my muscles and heart strong. But my mom? She does know. She understands how important it is to me. So for her to say those hurtful comments (that she doesn't even see as hurtful) really has gotten to me today. I look in the mirror and am so proud but I also have a long road ahead to where I want to be. If I already am lacking support at this point in my journey, where will I turn weeks from now?
Everyone who has a support system raves about how important and great it is, and I'm glad for them. I really am. But the ones of us that don't have support, what do we do? Where do we go when we need a hug or a pat on the back or a listening ear?
I can do nothing but turn here. I am SO thankful I have all of you wonderful women to uplift me and inspire me. Some that I truly feel have become friends, not just fit sisters.
I'm done venting now, but I needed someone to spill that and get it off of me and away from me.
Now, I will brush my shoulders off and dig even deeper. Because this is truly for no one but ME. I will not let anyone else's insecurities deter MY journey. I have come so very far and I refuse to do nothing but carry on. 1/3 of the way through bootcamp and I feel amazing. I can't wait to see myself at the end.
Xoxoxoxoxo
I can relate to you in some sense. It's not my parents putting me down but co-workers. (My parents are separated. My dad could care less and my mom lives in Texas. She doesn't see me often) BUT the people I work with, see the most, are always putting me down about eating healthy. Poking fun at what I'm excited about. This is actually with anything. They are a very negative group. Everyone's older than me and they all have grown children and here I am with a 7 month old. I feel like my choices to make a healthier life for myself is my choice and if they don't support me then they should keep their opinions to themselves. I do. They are all over weight and unhappy. It's kinda sad. They could at least feel better if they tried these guides. Any who, your vent turned into my vent but I just wanted to tell you that that kind of stuff bothers me too and that it does get me down. So, no matter what.. keep your head up and be proud of yourself!! :) if you can't get an approval or acknowledgment that you've done an amazing job at changing your life then let it roll off like water. Maybe one day they will see the positivity you eminate and want it too. You inspire a lot of people in instagram obviously, including me! Thanks for reading my comment. :) @fitgirl_lmr1327
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