(Thank you to everyone who offered their own journey and opinion on my last post, you helped push me out of my comfort zone and come to really important conclusions, besos!)
Surrounding yourself with other genuine people... That is
highly important to your own authentic journey. But what if you look around to your left, and then to your right...and
don’t see very much sincerity?* That is the boat I am floating around in. Or is it? As I
have grown older (oy) I have managed to weed out the fake friends and dwindled
to a number that I can count on one hand. But only because they are busy, I don't feel truly connected to them and with them. It's hard when people change, and I did the changing. I started saying no, thanks when asked to go for drinks, for dinner and when it comes to anything to do with those things. And as I type this, I reflect on the times they DID ask me to go to a yoga class, or offered to go to Zumba with me. And, as I type this, I realize that unless I explicitly ASK them to do other activities with me, how will they know I want to do them?
I have never been extroverted without alcohol, I cannot just
MEET people. I hate first dates, I hate new jobs, I do not like new settings.
But, again, how do I meet genuine friends? And why should I let such a healthy and important decision hinder me in any way?
Have I disregarded friends as fake when perhaps I should
have looked closer? Have I blinded myself to efforts made? I will have to make myself vulnerable, put my feelers out there, because that is the ONLY time that meaningful connections and relationships will be forged.
If you still have fake or insincere friends in your circle, remove them. You shouldn't have to hide your true self or have mistrust that they aren't showing you theirs.
Thanks for being here,
*I only say this about friends I see "in real life" - I wish I was closer to my AMAZINGLY genuine and hard working, fun loving fit girlfriends.
You and me, girl, are right here (envision that eyeball to eyeball finger thing)! You are seriously writing eveything that I have always felt or recently experienced, physically and emotionally! You are so fortunate to be learning all of this about yourself sooner, rather than later, like me. It's hard for me to accept exclusion, and hard for my friends to know how to approach me because the common thread was alcohol! Some friends will remain the mani/pedi, yoga, zumba, coffee date friends. The others will go about doing what they've always done but without us because a)they feel bad asking us to be subjected to temptation or b)seeing us happy and sober and fit and healthy may make them envious or feel judged by us. This is totally just my opnion from things that have been said to my face. One girl teased me about now being a teetotaler and I just told her I won't judge if you won't. Then another friend straight up told me she liked me better when I was drinking (talk about ouch!) The jury is still out for me on certain friends, many I can take or leave!
ReplyDeleteYou just keep doing you. Loving yourself and being free from all that brings you down, it will attract the kind of people you need in your life. And if that is only a handful, then so be it.