Society Probs

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2015/11/8-reasons-its-so-hard-to-be-genuine-in-a-society-thats-uncomfortable-with-radical-honesty/

 

THIS. Thisthisthisthis.

 

8 Reasons It’s So Hard To Be Genuine In A Society That’s Uncomfortable With Radical Honesty

(also I don't know why this can't count to 8 instead of 4 but let's just go with it)

1. If society had a mantra, it would be: “Be yourself… No, not like that!”
   This one speaks for itself, doesn’t it? And isn’t it so true? Thankfully (at a very slow pace) this is finally being challenged with movements like Eff Your Beauty Standards.
    
2. People only like authenticity when it’s comforting, not when it makes them question their own choices and ideals.
   Don’t be afraid to be yourself just because it is going to challenge someone else. It’s hard when we lose support of loved ones because we spoke our opinion and the easy thing to do would be to abandon our own opinions to make them feel comfortable with us again. Do not do that. Seriously.
    
3. “Following your own path” is terrifying – because it’s unknown.
   Growing up is SO SCARY. I went to university and got good grades and I really enjoyed my time there. BUT, looking back, I guess I only went because it was what was expected of me. And now, I have a career that doesn’t require my degree or a degree at all, and I wonder, if someone would have told me that I didn’t HAVE to go, if I would have wound up with the same career without the debt. So, just because it’s not what everyone else is doing, as long as you are smart about it and it’s something you believe in, just do it. Be prepared for scary. Scary is better than numb. Scary is real.
    
4.  We think that being genuine is being radically happy, because you’re just “doing what you want.”
   Yeah, not so much. Maybe you have realized you can’t be yourself at work and you have chosen to pursue a new career that will make you happier, but you are foregoing financial stability for a while. That wouldn’t make me happy. But it’s just important and it’s still you choosing authenticity.

1. Most people can’t see anything as valid unless they agree with it.
   So, you can be genuine always, or, you can choose to keep your mouth shut around the people you know are going to make a scene because they can’t hear anyone’s opinion besides their own. Sometimes, usually, they just aren’t worth our own true selves or our energy.
    
2. We’re a world of overthinkers, and when we’re not overthinking our own lives, we’re making judgments about other people’s.
   If it bothers you that people might judge you in this lifetime, you need to work on self-esteem. As long as YOU are happy with you, don’t ever let anyone else bother you. They might hurt your feelings and they might embarrass you, but when you look in that mirror, you be proud and know you put your best foot forward. Don’t let bored people hinder your awesomeness.
    
3. It seems impossible to be honest about not wanting to hang out, or be friend with someone, or tell them that you think they should reconsider a choice, without mortally offending them.
   I’ve always been a little too honest, really. My friends will come to me for my opinion because they know I won’t filter. I just think life is too short and if you want my opinion, I will give it. This has offended friends in the past and I don’t think they understand that I don’t HAVE to agree with you or support you. Maybe you think I should, but if I don’t agree with something, I’m not going to say I do just to make you feel better. And that doesn’t mean I love you any less, really, it’s the opposite. HOWEVER, I really have to stop saying we will get together, when I don’t mean it. I’M GETTING BETTER, OK?
    
4. We think that we can only be friends with people who we agree with on everything.
   Relationships are a two way street, just because you are okay with having differing viewpoints doesn’t mean they will be. When you change your life, be ready to change friends. Sometimes, we are really lucky and they take it in stride and love our new selves. But, sometimes, you will no longer have commonalities and that strains the relationship to a point where it’s best to go separate ways. Example, I was previously someone who would go out for drinks and dinner whenever asked, stay out super late and get too drunk. When I decided to be healthy that meant no more bars because I have an alcohol problem, and that meant fewer dinners because I feel more comfortable making my own meals. When the annual bar crawls came around this past time, I had to decline, but I made sure to offer to stay awake in case anyone needed a safe ride home or a place to crash. The dynamics will change as you change, don’t let that scare you away from choosing to improve yourself. And don’t let that scare you from saying hey guys, this is who I really am, I wasn’t sure if you would like the real me, but I am tired of wearing a mask. Vulnerability = authenticity.